It’s that time of year again when the evenings draw in and the sky turns that inky black far earlier than I’d like. I’m not a great fan of the early winter weeks. If you feel the same, you’re not alone. Over the years I’ve learned a few simple things that help me ride the season more kindly. Perhaps they’ll help you too.
I find it soothing to give the darker months a focus. Last year, I “booked myself in” for a winter job: sorting my granary shelves, colour coding my paints, posters, and all the bits and bobs into some order. Oddly, even sharpening pencils turned into a calming hour. This winter I’m tackling old photographs. I’ve got boxes full treasures mixed with mysterious shots of knees, ankles, and the tops of heads. I’ll keep the keepers and let the rest go. Perhaps you’ve got a drawer or box like that too. Other gentle project ideas include creating a to-read shelf and whittling it down, refreshing a corner of your home with a blanket, plant, or lamp, or choosing one cupboard to sort and enjoying the quiet satisfaction.
In summer, I’m busy-busy; winter invites me to slow right down. I’ve learned to treat that as seasonal wisdom, not a failing. The book Wintering by Kathrine May. Really helped me, it's a great book about how to 'winter'. I try to keep mornings bright by getting up a bit earlier and going for a short walk, it makes the day feel longer. A light box or SAD lamp for an hour in the morning can help, and vitamin D is often useful through the season, especially if you’re indoors more; if you’re unsure, check with your GP or pharmacist.
If you’ve a garden, or even a pot on a doorstep, tuck in some daffodil and tulip bulbs now. Planting hope is part of tending to mood. In the evenings, candles, blankets on the sofa, and, if you’re lucky, an open fire can become tiny rituals that say “we’re safe and warm.”
My pup, Bear loves to snuggle. So darker nights are great for lying on a sofa with a book, a warm drink, maybe a bar of chocolate, a blanket and happy music in the background.
I often wonder why we wear our darkest clothes in the darkest months. Try a bright scarf, a cheerful coat, or a bold hat. It’s amazing how colour can lift you and those you pass.
Felixstowe is lovely and friendly, even in winter. Don’t lock yourself away. A brisk promenade walk, a cuppa near the pier, a browse in town, small outings count. If evenings feel long or lonely, make that the time to phone someone. Put it in your plan like any other appointment. My friends and I have “Pyjama Mondays.” If it’s cold and dark, we pop on PJs and visit each other’s houses. It’s simple and comforting. I do slip into pyjamas earlier in winter no promise I’ll see clients in them, mind you!
As a therapist, I offer a few gentle anchors. Name the season, this is winter, and it’s normal to have lower energy. Try a quick body check-in, a three-minute scan before you decide what you need next, movement, rest, a warm drink, or a call to someone who steadies you.
Aim most days to include a little light, a little movement, and a little connection. Set small, meaningful wins: one task, one person, one pleasure per day. And remember that grief visits more often in the quiet months; if memories surface, make space for them, a candle, a photo, a page in a journal and try to let love be bigger than the pain.
Here’s a simple weekly rhythm you could try:
Get outside for a walk before midday at least once, take one small step on a project, like sorting ten photos or tidying one drawer, connect with one person by phone or over a cuppa; treat yourself to one pleasure, such as a chapter of a good book Wintering is a beautiful choice; wear one bright thing that lifts your mood.
If you’re finding the darker days especially hard, sleep shifting, mood dipping most days, or withdrawing from people, please reach out. Support helps, and you don’t have to carry it alone.
I’ll keep returning to this topic as the season unfolds. I’d love to hear your winter rituals and tips, what brightens your evenings, what projects keep your hands busy, and what books you recommend. Wishing you warmth, colour, and gentler days in the weeks ahead.
Deborah Lynch